How two friends who co-own a house make it work

Christchurch-based teachers Claudia Gray and Scarlet Bennett were flatmates before taking a joint leap into home ownership.

RNZ Online

16 December 2025

5 min read

Two friends, a woman and a man are sitting side by side on the outside steps of a deck, smiling at the camera. They are barefoot, casually dressed and look relaxed.

Claudia Gray and Scarlet Bennett at their shared home in Otautahi Christchurch.Katy Gosset

"What if things turn sour?" people often asked when Bennett and Gray mentioned they were investing in a house with a former flatmate.

But people don't ask that question when romantic partners buy a home together, Bennett points out on RNZ's Thrift podcast, and those relationships often don't work out.

After flatting together in Tauranga and Christchurch, the friends thought they might live one day together again or even buy a place together, but that seemed like a "wild pipe dream".

Around July 2024, though, Gray and Bennett started talking seriously about doing just that in Christchurch. At the start of 2025, they began the financial process and the house hunt, and moved into their new whare this July.

When it came to the upfront costs, the former flatmates went fifty-fifty on the house deposit and split all house-related costs straight down the middle, Bennett says.

"It's complicated when you're taking money out of the investment. If you're not fifty-fifty, where do you split that percentage?"

Two friends, a woman and a man are sitting side by side on the outside steps of a deck, smiling at the camera. The deck has a roof and in the background you can see pots of flowers, a couch and a chilli bin — Claudia Gray and Scarlet Bennett on their spacious shared deck.
Katy Gosset

Follow and listen to Thrift on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, iHeart, YouTube Music or wherever you get your podcasts.

Gray breaks it down.

"We have an agreement that we either get mortgage protection cover and/or we have an emergency fund. We've called it our hardship fund, which we've both contributed to equally."

If one of them is unable to make a mortgage payment, they can borrow from the hardship fund, but it needs to be repaid within a certain timeframe.

A man and a woman are standing barefoot on a lawn, looking at a garden plot. In the back ground you can see a house and deck. — Gray and Bennett's house came complete with a quarter-acre section.
Katy Gosset

Because Gray and Bennett have already been flatmates, they know each other's financial habits, and trust that they'll each honour their commitment to covering house costs before spending on anything else.

"Paying the bills, like that's a fundamental priority," Gray says.

Going through a finance application means each co-owner's outgoings are pretty transparent anyway, adds Bennett.

"There's no shadows in that. You see all the accounts."

A woman and a man are shown squatting in a patch of garden. She is parting the leaves of a plant. The garden is bordered by stones and contains a native plant on a base of wood chips. — Bennett is excited about planting asparagus in his new shared garden.
Katy Gosset

Most people who buy a house with someone else draw up some kind of legal agreement, and Gray and Bennett have one in the works which they're still honing.

"We have confidence in our relationship and our ability to communicate those things," Bennett says.

The legal and purchase processes were completely new to the pair, Bennett says, and he recommends other people looking at co-home ownership to find a mortgage broker and bank where they feel comfortable asking lots of questions.

Alongside the legal contracts, he and Gray have developed a tikanga (set of customs) for how they'll operate together in their home, which includes a shared calendar for family visits, no cleaning roster and a "very strict routine" for bathroom time.

"Our feeling of where we want to live is like a family home rather than being a flat," Bennett says.

Two friends, a man and a woman stand in front of their kitchen bar, looking around and enjoying the fact that they are now co-owners of their own home. — Although Bennett and Gray have no chores roster, they have a "very strict" bathroom-sharing routine.
Katy Gosset

Going into co-home ownership, it's important to look ahead and give some thought to the what-ifs and the how-longs, Bennett says.

"We've got lots of ways in which we will navigate different things, like partners or children. I don't think either of us is looking to have children, probably ever. If our parents need us to move home to care for them, whatever happens, we've got contingencies in place."

After four months living together in a house they've called Te Whare Ngāwari (the easy home), Gray is feeling more "abundant" while Bennett is feeling more "settled" and "mauri tau" [calm].

"There's an underlying security that makes you feel a bit more relaxed in the world and giving, too," Gray says.

"We're not answerable to anybody. This is our space, so it's pretty cool," adds Bennett.

Two friends, a man and a woman open their front door, smiling. Behind them you can see the hallway of their new home they have recently purchased as co-owners. — In his new shared home, Bennett is feeling more "settled" and "mauri tau" [calm] and Gray is feeling more "abundant".
Katy Gosset

Tips for people thinking about co-home ownership:

Choose people who are on the same page about how you'd like to live.
Find the right legal team. Ask all the questions you need to and get a legal agreement in place.
Plan for situations that might arise, like disputes, new relationships and lifestyle changes.
Think about how you want the vibe of the home. Work together on house rules, decor and expenses.
Consider how long the co-ownership might last. Set up rules for how a person might sell or exit the property.
And of course, enjoy. Having your own home is pretty special.