How a nutritionist overcame binge eating
Claire Turnbull was stuck in a cycle of overeating and shame, even after she trained as a nutritionist and fitness coach. Her new book shares how she reprogrammed her relationship with food.
Before becoming a registered nutritionist with a diploma in positive psychology, Claire Turnbull was a young girl covered in eczema, a painful skin condition with a red, leathery appearance.
She never felt like she fit in with her peers. Some of them sensed that, showering her with cruel words that centered on her appearance.
The bullying created a need to control something, anything. That anything turned out to be her relationship with food. She unconsciously modelled it off her mum, who bounced around different diets and often restricted food.
Nutritionist and author Claire Turnbull.
supplied
Related stories:
“One day, I picked up one of her diet books. There were heaps of them in the cupboard and I read them with interest,” Turnbull, 43, told RNZ’s Nine to Noon.
It’s a story that might be familiar to the experience of others and it’s the foundation of Turnbull’s recently published book, End Your Fight With Food. Not only does it draw on Turnbull’s personal story but also her knowledge of nutrition and psychology. The book’s goal is to be a practical guide for those wanting to end their battle with food, a conflict made more difficult in an era filled with dieting fads and conflicting nutrition information that comes via social media.
“This is what I see in my work every single day with other people, particularly women, right? Who’ve struggled with their weight, or the way that they look, or they just want to eat better and they go down this journey of some level of restriction.
“... I think that I held that guilt and shame for so long that there was something wrong with me...”
Turnbull struggled with yo-yo dieting, sneaking off to the cupboard to binge eat and at times purging throughout her teenage years. The behaviour persisted for years after 2004 when she completed her degree in dietetics.
The death by suicide of someone in Turnbull’s close friend group marked the start of a gradual turning point when she was 17.
“When I stood at the funeral, and then I was like, ‘Oh my gosh. I just can't believe that this girl thought that no one loved her, or that her life wasn't worth anything.’"
Another friend in that tight-knit group later confronted Turnbull about how she was treating her body and Turnbull’s approach to food.
“I actually don't think I realised to that point, and I don't think a lot of other people do, how much even if you're trying to hide it, your behaviour impacts other people. And you know, I was clearly impacting her, and of a concern to her.
“...people are trying to fight, fight, fight their own battles with food, and their children are watching and they're learning, and even if it's you're saying the right things about eating healthy, and all this stuff, your kids are watching you.
“And as my friend was watching me.”
But Turnbull needed another honest conversation, this time with an aunt, who encouraged her to seek professional help in psychology. When she trained in dietetics 20 years ago, psychology wasn’t part of the course.
“Thank goodness the training has now changed because it didn't work. I got out of university and I was still binging.”
Part of what Turnbull discovered through her own counselling and later when she retrained in positive psychology was about food habits that we learn throughout our lives, particularly in our formative years.
“Because, yes, sometimes we eat when we’re hungry, but we also eat when we’re bored. We eat when we are frustrated. We eat to reward ourselves. We eat because it’s rude to say ‘No.’
“...we’ve been told since we were children to finish everything on our plate.”
A section of the book helps readers pay attention to triggers for food cravings and how to potentially remove those triggers. That might mean taking a different route home if you find yourself turning into the same petrol station for a doughnut at the end of the day. Or if your partner brings out a pack of chips after dinner each night, ask them not to so you don’t mindlessly reach into the packet just because it is there.
Another book chapter looks at the importance of sleep in regulating hormones that can impact our cravings and hunger. Stress management is another focus.
“I remember sitting in the bathroom, standing on the scales, looking at the mirror, being like, I'm not going to binge today...
“...I never, ever believed in my whole life that it was possible to be where I am today, where I could eat one chocolate, and then put it back.
“I can't believe that could even be possible for somebody and it absolutely is, if you take the approach of reprogramming yourself.”
Where to get help:
If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111.
EDANZ: Find support, information and treatment options online, call the helpline 0800 2 EDANZ / 0800 2 33269, fill in the contact form, or email info@ed.org.nz
1737: Free call or text 1737 any time to speak to a trained counsellor, for any reason.
Lifeline: 0800 543 354
Suicide Crisis Helpline: 0508 828 865 / 0508 TAUTOKO (24/7). This is a service for people who may be thinking about suicide, or those who are concerned about family or friends.
OUTline: 0800 OUTLINE (0800 688 5463) every evening, 6pm to 9pm.
Rainbow Youth: (09) 376 4155
Depression Helpline: 0800 111 757 (24/7)
Samaritans: 0800 726 666 (24/7)
Youthline: 0800 376 633 (24/7) or free text 234 (8am-12am), or email talk@youthline.co.nz
