Kicking my caffeine habit

I was already thinking about quitting caffeine when I heard actor and personal trainer Marissa Holder’s remarkable outcome from the same experiment earlier this year.

In recent years, the tiredness I felt during the day was debilitating. I was dragging myself from one cup of black tea or coffee to the next. Yet, at night I would sleep for a bit and then wake up for two or three hours. I was overly reliant on sleeping pills or supplements, taking Zopiclone or melatonin every other night. Anxiety, never a problem before, was now a bit of a thing. Since I started working full-time again nine months ago, I developed rosacea, a skin condition with caffeine as a potential agitator.

I have quit caffeine in the past. After three or so days of skull-crushing headaches and absolute lethargy of about two weeks, I remember breaking through to even energy levels and a quiet focus with a clear mind, but I always went back on it.

It’s always amused me that most of the world essentially has a drug addiction. About 80 percent of all humans consume caffeine daily. It can improve our cognitive function, supercharge our sports performance and increase our metabolism. It comes with antioxidants in coffee and tea. However, it is also associated with anxiety, high blood pressure and insomnia. The side effects increase as we age.

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Now, back to my story about Holder. In her corporate career, she had become a four-a-day espresso drinker with anxiety, depression and irritable bowel syndrome, a catchall name for digestion that is plagued by discomfort, diarrhea, constipation, all sorts of undesirable symptoms. She quit her job to pursue her passion - acting. Yet, the issues remained.

“I would frequently get panic attacks in front of the [acting] class or an anxiety attack or I would hyperventilate,” says Holder, 35, who won Best Actress at the Portland Comedy Film Festival in 2020. She is also a professional singer and a kung fu champion.

So, she set out to reduce anything that might increase her anxiety, and caffeine was first on the list.

“Coffee is a part of me. Like, I can’t do anything without it. It’s my lifeblood. I’m sure I’m 50 percent coffee, but I needed to make a change.”

Starting in October, she reduced her coffee consumption by one cup monthly. The withdrawal headaches returned each time she dropped a cup. Holder took time off work due to the fatigue or work from home so she could have an afternoon nap.

“It just really messed me up, but the thing that kept me going was, ‘Wow, this is messing me up. It's not good for me.’

“... something so innocent shouldn't mess me up to this degree.”

Eventually, the clouds broke.

The biggest impact was on Holder’s IBS and her anxiety. Before, she had to know where the nearest bathroom was at all times - she had an app for that on her phone - in case she needed to use one. She couldn’t go on hikes. It was that bad.

“Now, I don’t have to think about it. It’s like my digestive system has just regulated itself perfectly.”

When she feels on the verge of a panic attack, she can reason herself out of it. Before, the anxiety would overpower her.

Even though my health issues were nowhere near as challenging as Holder’s, I was inspired to revisit life without caffeine.

Ajmol Ali, a professor of exercise science at Massey University and a leading caffeine researcher, rarely has caffeine. When he does, it’s the small amount found in green tea. He will drink a can of Coke very occasionally and always earlier in the day, so it doesn’t mess up his sleep.

Why we get headaches and become agitated when we don’t have caffeine is because of its effect on endorphins, says Ali. Caffeine increases endorphins, the body’s natural pain relief. Endorphins spike when we have a major injury, but the hormones are busy masking the pain of micro injuries, such as the muscle damage that occurs every time we walk. Taking away caffeine, and the subsequent endorphin rush can increase pain in the short term.

"You might feel like you're missing something, and it might lead to the cold turkey type effects. It might give you a headache, it might give you the irritability and other things like that."

If you have sugar with your tea and coffee, or you drink sugary energy drinks, the withdrawal effects will be compounded with “involuntary hypoglycemia,” says Ali.

“So you can get a sugar rush and you can get a sugar crash afterwards.”

When it comes to sleep, caffeine increases our alertness by blocking adenosine, allowing more dopamine and glutamate to go into the brain, keeping you feeling awake. That’s great if you want to stay awake, but caffeine’s effect on this can last for hours, depending on whether we are a fast, slow or very slow metaboliser of caffeine.

Caffeine addiction doesn’t even come close to the havoc caused by alcohol, cocaine or heroin, but I thought it would be helpful to get the advice of a drug counsellor before starting my detox.

David Newcombe, an associate professor in alcohol and drug studies at the University of Auckland, has counselled clients walking through caffeine addiction. They are almost always young people drinking litres of energy drinks a day and way over the recommended 400mg of daily intake.

“I drink coffee. I'm a caffeine addict,” says Newcombe, adding that he has cut back to two cups of coffee a day and only in the morning.

Like Ali, he advises cutting back gradually over days or weeks.

“Have Panadol and good hydration. If you believe in relaxation and mindfulness, try doing that,” says Newcombe.

Then, there’s the social aspect of addiction. If friends or work colleagues invite me to a cafe, Newcombe told me to swap out caffeine for a herbal tea or a decaf coffee or decaf black tea, which still has small amounts of caffeine.

“For us as humans, we've kind of grown up, especially in this part of the world and drinking a hot beverage is part of our communal way of life.”

Holder found encouragement in the Decaf page on Reddit, where people post their testimonies and ask questions about detoxing from caffeine.

I had begun reducing my caffeine intake months ago. In October, I went from six cups of black tea a day to four cups (a strong cup of black tea can have as much as 80 grams of caffeine, almost as much as an espresso shot, depending upon the bean). Unlike hardcore coffee fans, I don’t mind the taste of decaf coffee and was already using that for any occasional coffee I drink.

In March, my husband took our two young kids overseas to visit their grandparents for two weeks. I would be on my own, I knew that was my best window to manage the withdrawals. In the first few days, I went down to two cups of tea and then to one cup. Finally, I replaced all my black tea with decaf, which has trace amounts of caffeine (so does chocolate).

I preemptively took two Panadol at lunch to ward off any afternoon headaches, which almost eliminated them. The lethargy was manageable, too. However, I almost entirely attribute that to my kids being away.

The gradual weaning process was much less painful than my previous cold-turkey attempts.

Unfortunately, my sleep, which I really wanted to fix, felt like it got worse in those two weeks. Holder experienced that too. I was also bummed out by the bland flavour of decaf black tea and I missed the superhero feeling you get from that first cup of coffee or tea in the morning.

I’ve been off caffeine for over two months, and I’m almost sad about how good I feel because I miss real tea. My peaks and troughs of alertness throughout the day caused by caffeine have been replaced by a consistent alertness.

Weirdly, I have more energy at night to do projects, hang out with the kids or see friends before naturally feeling tired by about 10pm. If I wake up during the night, I often fall asleep again quickly. Rather than three or four sleeping pills or supplements a week, I’m taking one or none. I feel less anxious and more level-headed.

Alas, taking caffeine out of my diet has not improved my rosacea, the skin condition.

I’ve experimented with caffeinated coffee or tea in the morning, and the results are not pretty. I had a double shot espresso at 8am and was still buzzing at midnight. A cup of black tea seems to disrupt my sleep for two or three nights. Weaning off caffeine appears to have increased my caffeine sensitivity. Holder says she “relapsed” a few times. When she does one cup of coffee keeps her heart racing for four days.

So, I’m going to stay off caffeine this time. That’s the plan anyway. Those 15 minutes in the morning when I enjoyed a big pot of black tea just aren’t worth the days of disrupted sleep or the racing heart in the afternoon.

For me, life is better without caffeine. Sorry about that.