Why being kind to others is healthier than self-care

Acts of kindness towards other people not only lifts our spirits, they benefit our health in numerous ways, writes science journalist Nicole Karlis in the new book Your Brain on Altruism.

While people who regularly volunteer in their community enjoy longer, healthier lives, Karlis says, there’s a simple act of care that even people with stacked schedules can practice – not reacting or interrupting while someone else is talking.

“[Altruism] doesn't have to be some grand gesture. It can be as simple as just sitting and listening to someone.”

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By adding to our 'to do' and 'must-have item' lists, self-care practices can too easily add pressure to our lives, Karlis says. By contrast, time spent caring for others can reduce the effects of chronic stress on our brains and bodies.

We seek out self-care for relief from anxiety, stress and exhaustion, but on a deeper level we're hoping to become more resilient, she says. A more effective way to build this kind of strength is taking actions for the benefit of other people.

“From that perspective, it's wise to think of self-care as being ‘other care’ as well, and really turning your focus to caring for others in your community.”

When people are feeling really stressed, they get stuck in rumination, says Karlis, who interviewed a range of psychologists, sociologists and neuroscientists for Your Brain on Altruism.

One way to get out of that headspace pretty quickly, she says, is to throw yourself into some voluntary kindness.

Not only does altruistic action help us de-stress, it has also been shown to slow cognitive decline, potentially build our immunity and reduce the health hazards associated with loneliness, Karlis says.

For her, the deeper sense of generosity and community solidarity that immediately kicks in for people when a natural disaster strikes is evidence that for our species, kindness is more than just a pleasant bonus - it's a necessity.

“It is a mechanism of survival for humans.”

To create a true "culture of caring" that we can all live in, Karlis says leaders must recognise the benefits of altruism and also meet the basic needs of people currently living with a sense of scarcity and mistrust.

On the level of personal wellbeing, those who do regular community volunteering enjoy longer lives and fewer hospital visits, she says, but “smaller, random acts of kindness” can also have a powerful, cumulative effect.

One simple way to be more altruistic at work is to keep in mind the fact that you only see a fraction of what your colleagues experience in the world, Karlis says.

“People all have lives outside of the workplace and what happened at home over the weekend, that might affect how people show up on Monday.”

Empathetic action delivers a “gift” not only to the giver and the receiver, she says, scientists have discovered even onlookers reap a benefit.

“Witnessing acts of kindness can evoke the emotion of awe, and we know that there are a lot of health benefits to experiencing awe, as well.”